I find it a professional, and a polite thing to do.

But it’s a surprising easy question to mess up.

Word Choice

For one thing, the words you use matter. For example, if you say “Did I reach you at a good time?”, it immediately begs the question – when is a good time? There is never a good time.

Conversely, you can’t ask if it’s a bad time (even worse “Are you busy?”). It’s always a bad time.

So what I say is “Did I reach you at an OK time?” and most people, being reasonable, submit to me that yes, it is an OK time.

Tone

Another important aspect of the question is tone. If I sound at all scripted, I can almost hear the person on the other line shut down: here we go, another annoying sales call. To avoid this, the question must come out naturally – not too fast, and not too confidently. It has to sound genuine.

Sentence Structure

How you position the question also matters. For example, if you say “Hi, this is Joe Shmoe calling from such and such, did I reach you at an OK time?” it sounds almost too pushy. I find that it turns people off because they can’t honestly answer that question. OK time for what? If I don’t give them an idea of why I am calling before asking that question, I am implicitly suggesting to them that they are about to be sold to. In fact if you use this form, the most common response that you’ll get is “OK time for what?” which puts you in the defensive position.

Instead, I try to give a hint as to why I am calling “Hi, this is Joe Shmoe calling from such and such. I am following up with you from such and such a conference. Did I reach you at an OK time?” or “Hi —. I was referred to you by John Doe. Did I reach you at an OK time?”

Of course, this forces you to have a reason to call. What if you are cold calling? What if there is no conference to mention, and you are not callilng on a referral? Just a straight cold call? I still try to condense the purpose of the call “I am calling regarding [insert topic]” or “I am calling to follow up on my emails”. I find that almost anything is better than not giving them a heads up as to why you are calling.

At least these are the things that’ve worked for me. What do you guys think?

The “let the silence stretch out” approach, which is not discussed as often as it should be, can be a surprisingly valuable interviewing technique. The truth is that most people who are being interviewed would like to think that they are providing you with “interesting” information, which reflects well on their knowledge, insight, sense of humor, general bonhomie, etc. People want to be liked and to feel as if they’re holding up their end of the conversation. Obviously this doesn’t apply in a 60 Minutes-style hostile interrogation, but in most non-adversarial interviews, the subject wants to feel that he is holding the interest of the questioner. 

Thus informal body-language signs that you’re getting bored or disappointed usually prompt an interviewee to try harder and say more. The strategic use of silence can send such a signal, since people become uncomfortable and think that the silence is their fault. You can’t do it very often, but every now and then it works great. 

I remembered reading something about this before, and decided to do some Google searches and found a few more interesting articles about silence as an interview technique.

Nick Davies of The Guardian, talks about various unconventional interview techniques a reporter might use:

If the interviewee resists you, a surprisingly powerful tactic is silence. It’s very unnatural for two strangers to sit and say nothing.

If you can force yourself to stay quiet, you may well force the other person to talk. (I count up to 50 in my head.)

Woodward and Bernstein, in their account of the Watergate scandal, All The President’s Men, are very interesting on this kind of tactic. They would make deliberate errors, hoping that they might provoke a revealing correction. On one occasion, they staged a pre-scripted argument in front of a source, successfully provoking her into giving them information to stop a fight developing.

I also found a list of Question/Answer responces that a clinical psychologist might use to get a patient talking, and number 11 on the list is silence:

11. Silence:

C: I get so angry I feel like hitting someone
T: no response

• new therapists dread silence
• may occur due to therapist’s failure to lead interview
• can be a technique as well as therapeutic intervention
• provides client with opportunity to process and understand what is being said
• can move interview in a positive direction
• must be timed appropriately so patient understands that it is being used for a reason
• to promote introspection, allow patient to reassimilate emotions

And finally, some suggestions for what to do if you are a victim of such a technique, for example during a job interview:

The best way to handle silence is by remaining quiet and appearing pleasant. This response creates a non-hostile standoff; and, in the interest of time, the interviewer eventually asks the next question. Most pauses are measured in seconds, and it is rare for more than two to pass without the interviewer realizing you have not fallen for this ploy. If you are compelled to say something, at least turn the tables. “I think that answers the question, unless there is something else you wish to know,” forces the interviewer to become the respondent.